Like many others, I have spent a lot of time at home lately. I turned what could have been a stressful time into an opportunity. I Marie Kondo’s my house. It turns out I had a lot of crap that did not spark joy. I got rid of everything. I used to be a hot mess. Now, I’m on top of life. I’m totally chill.
Although, there is one problem. A mammoth Huntsman has moved in, and I don’t have an empty jar.
No Vegemite, no peanut butter, not even a jar of pasta sauce. Don’t get me wrong; those jars were weighing me down. No spider can change that. Not even a fuck-off huntsman… That keeps staring at me.
I wish I’d gone minimalist earlier. I feel so light. My mind is clear— Seriously, it’s still staring at me.
I’m relaxed, I have more energy. I sleep better. Well, I was sleeping better until the spider moved in. Now, I’m too scared to close my eyes in case it crawls into my mouth while I’m asleep.
DID YOU KNOW EACH PERSON EATS AN AVERAGE OF 100 SPIDERS A YEAR IN THEIR SLEEP?!
Yes, I definitely made the right choice to declutter. And as soon as I eat down my current jar of Vegemite, I’ll have a solution. I’m a light spreader so I should have an empty jar in three to six months.
What’s the lifetime of a spider? A couple of months? A year? FIVE YEARS?!
I am seriously so serene right now.
