NEVER BEEN WASHED!
Samara Bronson and Jason Riccardo are celebrating Valentine’s Day with a romantic city escape. Within moments of checking in, they were happily on the bed in relaxation mode.
Samara said, “We don’t believe in the forced commercialism of Valentine’s Day, but the hotel had a special on. A bottle of sparkling wine and cheese platter on arrival, plus a continental breakfast. All for $229. It was a good deal, so we put our values aside.”
The newly-engaged couple had no idea that the bedspread they spent much of their stay lying on, has never been washed. It is home to a thriving ecosystem that formed from the discarded skin, bodily fluids and DNA of over one thousand guests that laid before them.
Hotel Manager, Brenda McPhatts said, “It’s an industry standard that certain items don’t get washed. The bed runner, cushions, the spare blanket in the wardrobe. None of it. Most surfaces in a hotel room are smeared with something.”
The natural and artificial conditions of the Superior Queen room – controlled heating and cooling, limited natural light and a constant supply of new organisms – all work together to form a unique bubble of life.
The couple joyfully consumed the complimentary sundries on the bedspread, while resting on decorative scatter cushions. Throughout their stay, Lavosh and croissant crumbs were ground into the bedspread and incorporated into a perfectly balanced microscopic system that Samara and Jason soon had sex on top of. Their own bodily fluids, and shredded skin cells, mingled with the DNA from thousands of other naked bodies in a microscopic world beneath them.
