This week, Prime Minister Scott Morrison announced his Home Buyer Super Package, which enables home buyers to take money from their superannuation to pay for a house deposit. A few days out from the election, Morrison has proposed opening up the Scheme to include avocados.
He said, “We all know that millennials love their smashed avo. And because they always spend their stagnant wages on brunch, they can’t afford a home. We are changing all that. We are putting smashed avo and crippling poverty into the future of all Australians… Well, not all. Just the poor ones.”
Economist, Brian McLeod, is critical, “The Scheme will push up the smashed avo market. Eating smashed avo is already prohibitive for many low-income Australians. The most vulnerable will be forced to eat vegemite on toast for the rest of their lives.”
Morrison is firm, “It’s win-win. Now first home buyers can buy their smashed avo AND a home. They will simply pay for it when they retire at age 105, because that’s how long they will have to work.”
Morrison is considering addressing rising inflation by adding other items to the Scheme, like groceries, petrol and utilities.
In a last-ditch attempt to appeal to younger voters, he said, “Stuff it! It’s your money, buy what you like. If you need more money when you retire, just sell some of your ETFs or Bonds.”
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