A local woman’s hopes of finding a perfect ‘going-out’ top have been smashed when she realised it carried a ‘Hand Wash Only’ label.
Jessica Bumpy, a local school teacher, defines her ideal top as, “Something that’s up for a good time, that makes me feel good, and is sexy but not too slutty.”
Jessica tried finding the perfect match online. “Every time I thought a top’s profile looked good, I’d immediately buy it. Only to find that we were not a match at all. Most had a weird vibe in real life and some blatantly lied about how they looked.”
A desperate Jessica finally gathered enough willpower to go on an in-person shopping trip. It was at David Jones where she finally found ‘the one’, or so she thought.
She told Babbler, “It was love at first sight. From the way it looked, to the way it felt in my hands, to how we actually looked together. I was fantasizing about all the adventures we’d have, like going out for drinks or candlelit dinners. I was imagining how it would feel to finally get the compliments of ‘how cute we look.’”
Jessica’s meet-cute turned into a horror story when she discovered a ‘Hand Wash Only’ label. “That’s a dealbreaker. The bastard lured me in and then showed its true colours: sexist. Just because I am a woman, it thinks my place is in the laundry? Come on!”
Jessica abandoned the top and has not looked back.
“I’ve chalked it down to one that got away. On a positive note, I’ve started dating a guy I met online. He looks nothing like his profile pic and expects me to do all the cooking and cleaning, but everyone says how cute we look together.”
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