CUTE!
Johnny Depp has said he is ‘truly humbled’ that he won his defamation case against ex-wife Amber Heard. It is unclear why Mr Depp is surprised he won, given that he is a rich, white, powerful man. Adorable!
The televised trial led to an outpouring of support for Depp by his fans. While the media scrutiny and abuse directed at Heard as a result of the trial has been described as a modern-day witch hunt.
Depp’s Lawyer believes the trial was fair and just, and in line with medieval 15th Century law, “We knew we would win – that’s how witch hunts work – but to hear it from the jury after Johnny lost a similar case in the UK, with such a rich history of hunting witches, was truly special.”
Depp is now pleased to get his life back and join a group of Hollywood elite men that have been accused of abuse and gone on to have illustrious careers. So precious!
Self-proclaimed Depp super-fan, Norma Warren said, “The fact that Johnny is so grateful to get his life back after he has destroyed Amber’s, shows what a good guy he is.”
Local Witch and Legal Expert, Luna Blair, is not surprised, “Depp’s team used a common tactic for domestic violence trials, where they shift the focus from the perpetrator to the victim’s believability. Then, the masses are so blinded by the frenzy there is a good ol’ fashioned pile-on, and all opportunity for a fair trial and justice goes out the window.”
Awww, cuteness overload!
Depp’s Lawyer continued, “We don’t know why witches bother defending themselves. It’s a losing battle. Lol.”
More to come.
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