For the past three years, Jessie Wylson has been undertaking weekly therapy sessions to understand why all her relationships fail. Today, the investigative journalist had a breakthrough. She traced her commitment issues to Dr Karl Kennedy cheating on his wife Susan, in the long-running Australian soap opera, Neighbours.
“I’ve realised that I have never gotten over the betrayal of Dr Karl cheating on Susan with the sexy Sarah Beaumont. And then to do it again with Izzy! How could I ever trust a man again?”
The breakthrough came after Jessie’s therapist took her through a guided hypnotherapy session where they dug around deep into Jessie’s subconscious.
The session also revealed that Jessie’s father – also called Karl – cheated multiple times on her mother Sue. Jessie, however, does not believe there to be a link.
“It’s just a coincidence that my dad cheated on my Mum with several younger women. He is also a doctor, funnily enough.”
Jessie is relieved to have finally gotten to the root cause of her commitment issues and is hopeful she can make changes in her own life.
“I realised that I’ve never gotten over being thirteen years old and seeing a heartbroken Susan slap Karl and scream, ‘I trusted you!’ Funnily enough, that same week, I walked in on my dad boning his receptionist. But that’s just a coincidence.”
Are you finding Babbler funny? If so, follow Babbler on Facebook and Instagram for all your satirical news needs.