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“Mask Mandates Go Against Our Freedoms!” Says Population Too Sick To Enjoy Freedom
July 27, 2022
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“Mask mandates? No way! If we want to all be so sick that we can’t enjoy any aspect of life, then that’s our prerogative. This is what freedom looks like!”

With covid case numbers and hospital admissions at record highs, some people are calling for mask mandates to return.

Anti-mask advocate Meryl Brine strongly believes that mask mandates cannot come back, “Covid restrictions like masks kill businesses. Sure, many businesses are on the brink because all their staff have covid and the government support has dried up. But if you think I’m going to wear a mask, just so when I get sick and have to go to hospital that there are enough healthy staff to look after me, then you’re mad.”

State and Federal governments have been noticeably quiet on covid-related matters. Most notable is Dan Andrews, who earned the nickname ‘Dictator Dan’ for his strict covid restrictions when the state only had a handful of cases.

Dan Andrews has confirmed he is trialling a new approach, “The public know that masks are an easy way to reduce the spread of this virus. But sometimes you need unusual methods to get the lesson to sink in. It’s like when you catch your kid smoking and you make them smoke the whole packet so they learn that smoking is bad for them. We’re letting everyone catch covid, so they finally realise we were right all along: covid is bad for them.”

Natasha Williams is calling for mandates. She is nostalgic for what she refers to as “the good ol’ days” when she was forced to wear a mask while running solo on the beach or risk being fined. She told Babbler, “Now I am too sick to leave the house, let alone mask up to run along the beach. Bring back some common sense!”

More to come.

 

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Juliet Veal
Editor In Chief

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