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Woman Sad She Missed Out On Race Day Debauchery Before She Developed A Social Conscience
November 02, 2022
Babbler

NOT FAIR!

When Jayne Shumba moved to Australia 10 years ago, she was excited to learn about the Melbourne Cup. The allure of heavy drinking and silliness while in fancy dress made her long to participate in ‘the race that stops a nation’.

Jayne told Babbler, “I remember seeing the pictures of people dressed to the nines and thinking, ‘I can’t wait until I have the time and expendable funds to waste on such an insignificant event.’ And the drinking! Wow! Back home, horses running would never prompt so much drunken disorderliness. What a culture!”

Jayne recently graduated from university and found employment as an accountant. For the first time in her life, she has the disposable income to attend Melbourne’s Spring Carnival. However, her new sense of freedom has coincided with Jayne becoming ‘woke’.

“I was really bummed when my social consciousness turned on. Suddenly I could see that maybe the fancy dress and drinks were not worth subjecting animals to cruelty merely for my entertainment. I got woke at the worst possible time!”

Jayne continues to search for a day when she can participate in ethically responsible debauchery.

“Australia Day is out for obvious reasons. The King’s Birthday doesn’t feel right either… Halloween and Christmas are all about the mass consumerism of plastic crap… I can’t have any fun now I’m woke!”

 

 

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