STUFF IT!
On New Year’s Eve, Nicole Drux, 29, passionately declared that 2022 would be the year she got off her phone. Yet, thirty seconds into joining a COVID PCR testing line, Nicole realised her book was in the car. Nicole swiftly retrieved her phone from her handbag, and she hasn’t looked back.
“What can I do? I need to get this test done and if I leave the line to get my book, I could miss out… I can’t be expected to be with my own thoughts right now; I’m freaking out! I need to goggle my symptoms again.”
Due to a surge in COVID cases and limited availability of rapid antigen tests, Australia’s testing sites are at capacity. The Government has warned people to brace for long wait times and more positive cases.
The avid reader of social media is a realist, “My resolution is 100% over now. I could be in this queue all day. Then, there’s a good chance I’ll test positive. I’m not doing quarantine without screen time. There’s no sympathy if you’re not live-tweeting your symptoms.”
An unknown woman in the line behind Nicole offered to save Nicole’s place so she could retrieve her book – Sally Rooney’s ‘Beautiful World, Where Are You’ – from the car. Nicole replied, “Don’t worry, I’ll save it for quarantine.”
The phone addict is quick to blame the Federal Government’s management of the pandemic.
“I had massive plans to get off my phone this year and do something productive. But if the Government – that by the way, had how long to sort this out? – is yet again under-prepared, what can I do? It’s ScoMo’s fault that I am back on my phone. Let’s vote him out!”
Nicole was quick to add, “I’ll get off my phone in 2023… If the world still exists.”
