“May I ask what it is regarding?”
Brenda Crossbone is the head medical receptionist at a busy High Street doctor’s clinic. There are a handful of free appointments each day, and the diligent first point of contact ensures that only the most serious medical conditions get seen.
Brenda told Babbler, “These appointments are valuable. There is no way I am willing to give them up to a hypochondriac or someone with the common cold. Come talk to me if you’ve got a Transformer stuck up your bum.”
Despite the veteran receptionist having no formal medical training, she undertakes her own form of triage over the phone.
Her no-nonsense approach sees her discuss even the most sensitive of information, while patients in the busy waiting room eavesdrop with delight.
“…And how long has it been stinging for Ms Watkins? Any bad smells? Rash? And are you still at 33 Sunnyridge Crescent, Cranbourne?”
It is not uncommon for some hopeful patients to divulge copious amounts of personal information – such as their phone number, salary, and family history – before being told they don’t qualify for an appointment.
“Okay, Ms Watkins. It does sound like you need antibiotics, but unfortunately, the Doctor doesn’t have any appointments today. I can get you in next month. But do call me back if you see any blood, and I might be able to squeeze you in.”
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