“I personally can’t do it. I will be drinking throughout July, but I promise you. I won’t feel good about it.”

Dry July participants raise funds to go to people affected by cancer. Samantha has posted a rousing Instagram post about her commitment to the campaign, encouraging people to donate.

“It’s a great cause, everyone, so make sure you dig deep. I’ll be doing my bit too. It will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But it is my pledge that I won’t fully enjoy any gin and tonics, red wine, prosecco, negroni or tequila slammers for the whole month. The alcohol will be in my mouth, but I can assure you, it will taste bitter.”

Since the campaign started, Samantha has posted a series of selfies of her holding drinks and looking guilty. Today’s photo had her holding a frozen margarita with the caption, “7 days in. I’m not going to lie, it’s been tough. But all worth it to help raise some important funds!”

While Samantha is not willing to admit that she may have a problem with alcohol, she has not ruled out giving up alcohol in the future.

“Maybe I’ll do FebFast – February is a few days shorter than July.”

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The post Woman Without The Self-Control For Dry July Summons Willpower To Feel Guilty About Every Drink appeared first on Babbler.

Lisa told Babbler, “I don’t know what’s got into them. They’re yelling all the time. They must be picking it up at school and kinder…. Excuse me… TEDDY, get off your sister!”

To Lisa, it feels like even the most basic of conversations or requests ends in one of the children yelling. She has no idea what has caused this shift in her once-serene children.

“Lilah! I’m warning you!”

“I know I should be encouraging their self-expression but this is next level. I think I’m going to talk to the school. This behaviour is not acceptab— Hang on a sec…. TEDDY, I SAID, GET OFF YOUR SISTER!… RIGHT, THAT’S IT—”

More to come.

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The post “Who Taught You To Yell Like That?!” Says Mum Who Hasn’t Said A Calm Word All Year appeared first on Babbler.

“I love women. My mother’s one,” Mike Jackson, 29, told the packed room at his work’s IWD morning tea.

While Mike is new to formal work and has no knowledge of the issues facing women, he is ‘leaning in’ and tackling the role of facilitator. The all-male executive at AST Group, a financial investment company, identified that Mike was the perfect choice.

CEO Barry McPhants said, “Mike’s a go-getter. Really ambitious. A great guy. And the other choice, Simone, is lovely to look at but a bit bossy.”

AST Group is determined to let people know that they take the day seriously – whatever it’s about – and spent thousands of dollars on pastries, novelty pens and balloons.

Three female experts, that were asked to volunteer their time, joined the panel. Mike received a speaking fee that Barry McPhants defended, “It’s fair. As breadwinners, men have more expenses than women.”

Mike did his best to be inclusive, “We’d be lost without the ladies here. They put on this whole morning tea; made the cupcakes, put it in management’s diaries, and they’ll have this room packed down by the time we’re on the ninth hole.”

When panellist Kathleen Pinto, who has two doctorates and runs a successful tech company, spoke passionately about the representation of women in executive positions, Mike interrupted, “That’s an interesting point, Katherine.” He then pointed to the all-female executive assistants and said, “Did you hear that, girls? You need to ‘Lean In’. LEAN IN, GIRLS.”

This was met by rousing applause from management. Mike said, “The truth is we ALL need to do more. Men AND Women. If we truly want equality, why isn’t there International Men’s Day?”

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The post Leaning in! This Man Wasn’t Qualified To Facilitate His Work’s IWD Event But Gave It A Go Anyway! appeared first on Babbler.

Monica Baros, 31, has multiple groups of friends that she keeps in touch with via group chats. If she doesn’t keep on top of her three or four regular groups, she can expect to be confronted with multiple comments that she must respond to before being able to start a new topic of conversation.

The popular real estate agent said, “It takes up loads of time when really I would prefer to be talking about myself.”

In the past, Monica would ignore all previous messages and jump in with a new topic that interested her. A group of school friends blocked her from the group for ‘being a bad friend.’

Monica tells, “They said I never took an interest in their boring lives and that I only wanted to talk about myself. But in my defence, I was having a major issue at the time and I needed their support – I was thinking about getting hair extensions. Hello. Crisis talks!”

The dismissal inspired Monica to try a new approach with her other friendship groups. She is now meticulous and makes a point of responding to every message or comment before changing the topic.

Monica adds, “It’s paid off. I didn’t get the hair extensions, thank God. I guess being a good friend has its benefits.”

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The post Friend Makes Point Of Commenting On Every Message In Group Chat Before Talking About Herself appeared first on Babbler.

“It’s tradition! Every year on Australia Day, we get wasted at the beach. You can’t just go around changing these rich cultural traditions. It’s Un-Australian.”

Like many, the VB-lover has personally benefited from multiple traditions changing throughout history. Including being allowed to wear a bikini, vote, work, choose whom she marries, and even drink alcohol in public.

Yet, the self-described beach-babe is indigent and plans to throw, “One massive Straya Day barbie.”

When Babbler pointed out that Australia’s First Nations People have over 60,000 years of traditions, and Australia Day has only been a national holiday since 1994, Sammy, whose parents are from Gloucestershire, started shouting, “Aussie. Aussie. Aussie. Oi. Oi. Oi!”

The majority of Australians now believe, that Australia Day should change to a day that doesn’t celebrate the genocide of the country’s First Nations Peoples.

The Federal Government is firm that a date change will not happen while they are in power. Prime Minister Anthony Albanese said, “It’s an Australian tradition to ignore the wishes and rights of Indigenous Australians, on every day, but especially on the 26th January.”

More to come.

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The post “It’s Tradition!” Says Woman That Benefits From The Evolution Of Multiple Traditions appeared first on Babbler.

Lizzie is staying with friends on the Mornington Peninsula. At a day on the beach, the teaching student was adamant that her pale and freckly skin has what it takes to transform into the perfect beach tan.

Of Irish descent, Lizzie’s skin started to redden and blister after ten minutes in the ozone-layer-less Australian sun. Yet, she didn’t let that deter her.

As Lizzie’s friends applied another layer of sunscreen or put on a rash vest, Lizzie sat in direct sunlight, seemingly relishing in the dangerous UV rays. When a friend pointed out that Lizzie was burning, she said, “It’s fine. It’ll go brown tomorrow.”

Lizzie was last seen combusting into a ball of flames and suffering severe burns.

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The post Pale Friend Risks Third-Degree Burns To Prove She Really Does Tan Well appeared first on Babbler.

We get it; bush wees are hard. There’s a lot to do – juggling clothing, positioning your feet, stream control, all while protecting your bare arse from wild animals. It’s no wonder that 95% of bush wees result in urine on the feet or legs.

Now, there doesn’t need to be any shame if you wee on yourself. No one will know! Simply zip yourself into this jumpsuit and stay in it for the whole camping trip. All your secreted body fluids will be hidden from your camping buddies. They’ll just think you’re one stylish bitch!

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The post Camping Style Guide: This Camo Jumpsuit Hides That You Peed On Your Leg appeared first on Babbler.

“I need a break,” Daniel said.

His wife was unavailable for comment.

More to come.

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The post Dad Who Was Looking Forward To More Time With Kids Considers Early Return To Office appeared first on Babbler.

Clare Markwell, 38, is honouring her annual tradition of watching her favourite Christmas movie ‘Love Actually.’ Well, 20% of it, anyway.

Despite her best efforts, each year Clare will typically watch approximately 20% of the film before she’s scrolling through her phone or simply wanders off.

“I’m not quite sure why I can never get through the entire thing. Maybe it’s because I
start to wonder how Hugh Grant’s character could be Prime Minister?”

Despite this, Clare maintains that ‘Love Actually’ is her second-favourite Christmas movie, after ‘Die Hard’.

“It’s about Christmas and falling in love. What could be better? Although, why are we celebrating that guy telling Keira Knightly that he is in love with her. She just married his friend! Keep it to yourself. Don’t burden her with your truth… But so good! One of the best Christmas movies!”

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The post Christmas! Time To Watch 20% Of Love Actually Again appeared first on Babbler.

Jessie is currently in the kitchen – cooking a sit-down meal for 22 – while Darren is making a playlist of Christmas songs. While the list includes ‘Fairytale of New York’ by The Pogues and Darren’s favourite ‘How To Make Gravy’ by Paul Kelly, the freelance Graphic Designer is yet to lift a finger in the lunch preparations.

Despite the song explicitly explaining how gravy is made, Darren won’t be making gravy, or any dish. The self-described nightmare in the kitchen told Babbler, “I’ll just muck it up. I even burn water. Ha ha ha!”

Jessie is keen to make a good impression with Darren’s family and the pressure is getting to her. She has called out from the kitchen, asking for help to peel the potatoes, but Darren had to make an urgent phone call.

Jessie’s efforts are not lost on Darren. He reports that he’s all for equality and identifies as a feminist; he simply wasn’t born with the skills to cook. He also can’t do dishes.

“The kitchen is Jess’s domain. I’ll be busy too though. Once everyone gets here, I’m on drinks and keeping the guests entertained. Plus, I’m in charge of tuneage.”

Guests are due to arrive in ten minutes. Jessie has called out to see if Darren has bought ice yet. He can’t hear her as he is watching the cricket in the bedroom.

Stay tuned.

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The post Wow! This Guy’s Fav Christmas Song Is ‘How To Make Gravy’ And He Still Won’t Help With Lunch appeared first on Babbler.